A Breakup in Five Acts

Act I: Denial
You didn't even flinch when I was leaving
almost relieved to let love go
spinning like a top

And why would you think I would stay
when you can barely put up a fight
like nothing in the world matters enough
to unsettle the cocoon you've built around yourself

And why does your reaction seem to
send me spinning and spinning
into a bar and a strange town and a bathtub
while you remain perfectly still

In all of this it seems I've lost myself
or realized I've overlooked so much
for years.

Act II: The Impulse
This is the time when that clock kicks in
and says it's time to leave,
time to go

When the bell first rang it meant
open doors
a cool breeze
young and beautiful
I felt freedom unfold behind me like a carnival
Convincing passerbys to get caught up in the excitement
pleasantly surprised when I awoke
in a stranger's bed,
in another town,
under colorful sheets,
under a tree...

I could wear freedom's impulses on me
like a multicolored dress
displaying all the things I took with me,
all the things I left behind

But now,
It seems that nothing will stick
and I feel more and more
like a vagabond
carting a wagon
of items
symbolizing loss and distance
My collection is more
a display of shortcomings
than a beautiful
coming of age.

Act III: Replaced
She doesn't know that when you're nervous you smoke
and when you're scared you talk fast
and she don't know,
don't know

Act IV: Alone
Darkness like a welcomed lover
silence and an empty apartment
I want to sit in stillness until
the world stops spinning,
spinning out of control
And maybe I have to face the fact that it's me,
it's me.

Act V: On the verge
I'll close my eyes on this sleepy city
when dusk has pulled its cloudy comforter over the horizon
singing a sad lullaby
(we hope you stay, they say)

But there is no resting when the
winds of change are blowing, blowing
and I hope I can find myself in this
beautiful tornado
I'll pluck pieces from the storm
to see if they fit

Jewels glisten in the night sky
winking at me,
like this all makes sense
and even if it doesn't,
it will still mean something
to someone
someday
even if it's only me.