The Edge

I've come to the edge
of this sad precipice
looked out over the ocean of emotion
again and again
Inhaled the thick air of solitude
Allowed the fog to dull
all my violent impulses
at peace with being alone,
confronting the lie of a tireless,
limitless love
No, no,
He wouldn't follow me to the end of the earth.

Simulacrum

Another night of hot, twisted, uncomfortable sheets
coiled like the muscles in my stomach
a red, pulsing, angry wound
that only I can feel

There was a love lost a thousand years ago
that soft aching that
swells inside me
throbs beneath the surface
sometimes bubbles over
when an imposter steps in

He's got the same hands,
the same gestures as you
the way his eyes fall on me
is familiar
the longing seems
believable
almost

But the closer I look
the more he becomes a stranger
cruel in the performance,
heartless in his distractions
a sad shadow of
a broken promise,
a love unfulfilled

Rebirth

Under a leaky sink I daydreamed
of finding love sitting quietly on a bench
waiting for me to show up

I woke to find a distorted
picture of love
painted in blacks and reds
across the parking lot
spelling out cynicism
in vomit and tears on the pavement
scantly clad women dancing
for pennies
Desire, fantasy, romance on display
like a spectacle, like a masquerade
like a ghost to haunt the present.

When I was sufficiently overwhelmed
with love's apparition
you cradled my head on your lap
slept next to love's wearied body
breathed life back into its lungs.

There may be an end to a b'ak'tun cycle approaching
or maybe it's the coming together of three stones again
to reveal the sun.
A new beginning approaching
And a dawn that whispers
I found you
I found you.

Open Window

To be awoken
By kisses up my back
A pale kingdom under the sheets
To be told, in secret,
In corners, in whispers
The million ways to fall in love
To memorize the story of the initial meeting
To meet eyes at every boring party
With awareness and playfulness
The world will be born again-
Out of the ashes of old, past, dead
As a playground
And I hope to be the first
And I hope to be adored.

Blue Moon

Searching for a blue moon
Between bubbles of laughter
I beg the fear not to set in
I offer a green bowl of tears to the black hole
that has already taken too much.
Distraction, distraction, offer simple distractions
So when we're alone
I can crawl into your mouth
And catch the words that come out
Afraid that I'll have nothing when you're gone.

Straw Men

When I'm done being mad at myself
for all my bad decisions
for all the things I set up to make sure
I won't get what I want
The straw men I built
to create a beautifully crafted distraction

(And maybe I could fall in love with
those delusions
for a short time
And maybe I could love you
for your part
in them)

But when I'm exhausted from
all that self-sabotage
it's still me
and only me
in this mess.

Two Burnings

Walcott watched the Ramayana
Transform children into warriors, princes, and gods
Actors crossed through their mirrors
Stepping into an alternate reality
A moment where past and present shared a bed
To birth the beautiful union of their drama
And a God-like umbilical cord was ignited.

Walcott was witness to this ritual burning
The metaphorical igniting of a God
On the edge of a sugar field
A vibrant flash of light
Descending on the horizon like a sunset.
The ashes used to paint memories
Onto the Caribbean landscape.

Fire inhaling and exhaling
Breathing life into ashes
Red lips
Orange anxiety
Blue night sky.

Burn has another name in Queimada
A fictional island set on the outskirts
Of a colonial empire
Where waves of truth and fantasy
Wash up on the ivory beaches

Slaves mirror the pallid shores
And the masters
Mimicking their wickedness
In dance and song riding
Tides of vibrant colors
Carrying a human hand that
Waves goodbye to flesh

Profits ignite a fuse
In pale isolation
Inhaling green
Fumes from a poisoned sky
Exhaling dark ashes to cover the shame
Walker serenades memories to sleep
Singing “One builds to make money,
And to go on making it,
To make more,
Sometimes it’s necessary to destroy.”